#3: Welcome to Adult Life
I respect what this card-giver is trying to do here. While the message may be cruel and may leave the receiver at best a little bit forlorn and at worst traumatized enough to hate birthdays for the rest of their life, it is undoubtedly well-intentioned. They’re just trying to take on an educational role.
That’s without even mentioning the hard work they have exerted in making their card. This isn’t just another mass-produced, store-bought, digital-printed piece of paper. This is an original concept, a hand-drawn work of art that is certainly deserving of at least some of the prescribed taxes.