#45: Ice Cream is a Human Right
Apparently, we’re so desperate to protect the beloved frozen treats that we need a lock and key. There’s some top-secret ice cream heist conspiracy going on, and we must thwart those dastardly dessert thieves at all costs. Just imagine the headlines – “Step away from the mint chocolate chip, and nobody gets hurt!”
Honestly, have we really sunk so low that we can’t even trust ourselves around a tub of Rocky Road? Next thing you know, they’ll start locking up the candy aisle and issuing security clearances for sprinkles. It’s a mad, mad world, my friends, and we’re just trying to do the best that we can.