#2: Romantic Portrait vs. FBI Evidence
Her photo of him? Straight-up National Geographic. Majestic waterfall, perfect pose, like he’s the newly discovered prince of a tropical kingdom. His photo of her? She looks like she’s been found floating at sea by the Coast Guard after several hours of hopeful searching. Gorgeous scenery, but zero personal dignity.

He had one mission: make her look cute in the water. Instead, he delivered “mysterious creature approaches boat.” Meanwhile, she’s out here capturing him like he’s the star of a travel campaign. Boyfriends truly see their girlfriends through the camera like, “Yep, this angle is definitely flattering.” It’s not.
